


But Now I See

by theRadioStarr



Series: Lost In Thoughts [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 08:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6604378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theRadioStarr/pseuds/theRadioStarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just some more Silas fluff. </p>
<p>I was out for a walk one day, and listening to my Mass Effect soundtrack playlist, and one of the ‘slo-mo walking away from a fiery explosion’ themes came on… for some reason, the first thing that came to mind as I was listening was the exact moment Silas realizes he’s in love with the Avatar, just before a march/fight as she walks away from him. </p>
<p>So yeah, that’s what this is. Plus some extra fluff.</p>
<p>I should have used the generic name, but my tradition is always to name my character on my first playthrough after myself, so I’ve technically used my own name in this. I do not see her as a self-insert, and admittedly, I feel a little like a creep-level fangirl now that it’s done and being posted, but whatever. I included the S Support conversation and the confession, but I filled the dialogue out a bit and changed a few small things to make it flow better. </p>
<p>O Creator, judge me whole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Now I See

**Author's Note:**

> I think I intended this to be a sequel to 'It's Been A While' but I may have altered my Avatar's appearance in her description? Apparently consistency is not my forte with these fics lol.

“Silas?”

“WuaaAAAAGH!”

Silas spun around so quickly he almost fell over. When he saw Natalie’s head stuck into his tent, eyes wide with fear and apology, he took a deep, steadying breath.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle-”

“No, it’s okay!” he answered quickly. Too quickly. “Just got lost in my thoughts, I guess. Is everything okay?”

“We’re about to head out. Are _you_ okay? It’s not like you to lose track of time like this.”

“I’m… I’m a little nervous about the march today, I guess,” he admitted. Heat flooded his face as he looked at the floor. What kind of knight was he? But when he looked at her, his stomach turned uncomfortably. “I have a bad feeling that something is going to go wrong. Well, something worse than usual.”

She laughed at that. “I’ll be extra cautious, then. Come on.”

He nodded, and she watched until he had all of his effects in hand. When he pushed his tent flap aside and stepped out into the cool morning air, she was waiting for him. Despite her claims of urgency, she set a casual pace as they walked to the stables, going over the day’s route plans with him in an effort to ease his anxiety.

“As I said, I’ll be extra cautious, but I think everything will be fine,” she finished as Silas led his horse from its stall. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

A fresh wave of nervous butterflies took flight in Silas’ stomach. “They won’t get near you while I still draw breath.”

Her laughter was like music. She seemed to shine in the early morning sun, and Silas’ breath caught in his throat at the sight.

“There, that’s more like the Silas I know.” Her hand fell on his forearm for a few seconds, and then she smiled widely before walking away.

He stood rooted in place, watching her as she left him. Her back was straight but relaxed, her gait strong, armour gleaming. He took in another shuddering breath, and then, all at once, the world crashed down around him.

_She’s… she’s beautiful._

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, even as she got further away from him. His heart pounded loudly once, twice, three times, the blood roaring in his ears. His chest tightened and his stomach dropped as a very strong and sudden realization washed over him like a cleansing fire.

“Silas, my friend! You look unwell.”

“Fear not! For the dashing knight is simply meditating on his great strength for battles yet to come! Without it, he’ll surely perish under the pressure.”

“Owa – _Odin_ , please, now is _not_ the time.”

“It is precisely the time! For the Silver Squire looks to be on the very verge of a life-changing insight!”

Laslow chuckled. “So he does. He appears to have that _look_ about him…”

Silas barely even registered Laslow waving his hand in front of his face.

“Uh, Inigo? Is he actually going to be okay?” Odin whispered.  

“Of course he is. I know the expression all too well,” Laslow answered. “It’s only a matter of time before h-”

“I love her.”

Silence fell over his friends at his words.

“Gods, I – I love her. I have all this time – since we were kids, even. How did I not know sooner?”

The look Laslow gave him was nothing short of judgemental. “I’m surprised that sneaking her out of the castle for a picnic date and then getting banished, which led to your decision to become a royal knight _simply so you could maybe see her again_ at the age of _seven_ didn’t do it for you, but no matter.”

“True love knows no limits!”

“Odin, _please,_ the poor man doesn’t need you shouting it to the world for him.”

“Right, sorry, I’ll bring it down a few notches. Seriously though, Silas, he’s got a point.” Odin’s hand fell to his shoulder, eyebrows threatening to get lost in the fringe of his hair. “You’re hopeless, and without our help, you may never achieve your dreams.”

“I – I’m sure I-”

“I consider myself somewhat of an expert in these matters – stop it, you!” Laslow reached over and smacked Odin when the mage started laughing. “Anyway – let us walk so we don’t miss our march, and we shall impart our wisdom on the way.”

“I have to tell her,” Silas mumbled as he guided his horse forward. “What would she like… another picnic? Maybe a fancy dinner? Or is that too much?”

“Tea is always a safe place to start,” Laslow answered assuredly. “Very non-committal, and besides, if I remember correctly, she is quite the fan of it.”

Silas nodded. “Yeah, she loves tea. _Eugh_ , but I’m going to have to ask Jakob to make it for me. Tea-making isn’t something we’re taught in my line of work.”

“Ha! Don’t worry about that. Ini – _Laslow_ makes the best tea around.”

“It’s true,” Laslow told him with a wink. “And don’t worry yourself with asking her, either – I’ve a plan to bring the two of you together perfectly. Just try to stay calm – everything is going to work out fine. By the time you go to bed tonight, you’ll be well on your way to throwing your bachelor card away!”

Laslow all but skipped away, pushing his way to the front of the column and leaving Silas behind with Odin.

“Hey, Odin?”

“Yes, my knightly compatriot?”

“Why do you two call each other by _Owain_ and _Inigo?”_

Odin cleared his throat a little awkwardly. “That is another grand story for another time, my friend. Worry not! For it is all unimportant to the larger picture.” He clapped Silas on the shoulder, and then he too was gone, leaving Silas alone.

His head was spinning, memories of his childhood and his time since joining Natalie’s forces rushing forward to show their evidence. “I am _such_ an idiot.”

There was nothing he could do now but pray that Laslow didn’t ruin everything for him.

*                             *                             *

“Lady Natalie!”

Natalie turned to look over her shoulder, only to find Laslow half-running to catch up with her. She stopped to wait for him.

“What’s wrong?”

Laslow smiled and bowed slightly towards her, gesturing that they should continue walking before he answered. “Nothing, save that out friend Silas is in quite a strange mood today. Had you noticed?”

Natalie nodded, frowning. “He said he had a bad feeling about today, that he was nervous about the march. I spooked him going to make sure he was going to make it this morning, and he’s been oddly distant. I hope I haven’t done something to upset him…Or maybe he’s falling ill? Gods, I hope not…”

“Quite the opposite, I’m sure, and he seems to otherwise be in perfect health,” Laslow answered her as if brushing her concern away.

“I feel like I should do something, but I don’t know what. I promised I’d be extra vigilant, but I feel exactly the opposite way he does. It’s hard to be so focused when I’m feeling so optimistic.”

“You know, I always find a spot of tea to be quite relaxing after a stressful day. Perhaps all he needs is a little one-on-one time with a friend he trusts, and he trusts none more than you.”

“That… is a perfect idea,” Natalie nodded. She turned to look over her shoulder in an effort to find Silas, and spotted him a way back. He was on foot, still just leading his horse, gaze unfocused and directed at the ground a few feet ahead of him. “I’ll ask him if he has time for some later.”

“Leave it to me, Lady Natalie. Someone must keep an eye on him in this state, and since you’re busy leading us, I shall take on the duty personally. I will let him know you expect him for tea when the day’s march is done and we return to our astral plane. Where should he meet you?”

“My quarters is fine, I think. I have more privacy there, he should feel a little more relaxed.”

Laslow’s eyebrows shot up for just a fraction of a second, and then he winked at her. “I shall pass the message along, Lady Natalie. And don’t worry yourself about anything – I shall take care of it all for you.”

With that, he was gone.

Natalie sighed deeply as she focused on the road ahead of her again. Still, it felt like the road behind was calling to her, and after only a couple of minutes, she turned to look over her shoulder.

Laslow had fallen in step with Silas, and it appeared he was talking his ear off. Silas stared at him intently, as if his life depended on whatever Laslow was telling him. A breeze blew past, and it mussed Silas’ hair; Laslow stopped whatever he was saying to fix it for him, but Silas smacked his hand away. A few words were shared, and then Laslow went back to fixing Silas’ hair. Natalie could see his blush all the way from where she was.

Azura laughed quietly at her side, and Natalie whipped around to look at her.

“It’s funny,” Azura finally told her, voice soft as it always was. “For all your keen powers of observation, sometimes you can be quite blind.”

Natalie frowned in concern as Azura started to hum again, stealing another quick and confused glance over her shoulder at Silas before turning her attention to the road once more.

*                             *                             *

“One last time, before you go.”

Silas took a deep breath and carefully balanced the tray of tea and cookies on one broad palm. “Pour her tea for her, and offer milk and sugar, but allow her to add it herself so it’s made right. Pay attention so I can make it up for her myself next time. Remind her gently of the cookies, but don’t take one until she does. Offer her a warm-up before taking more tea myself. Ask about her, and try not to talk the whole time about myself. Be honest and genuine. Try to relax.”

“Excellent.” Laslow rubbed his palms together, and then reached up to fix a strand of Silas’ hair for him again. He smoothed out Silas’ shoulders while he was at it. “I agree that you need to tell her, but don’t force it. Let it happen naturally.”

“I’m so nervous,” Silas admitted. “What if she isn’t interested? What if she turns me down?”

“Silas, my friend, that is all just a part of life,” Laslow answered him sadly. “A part I know well. The important thing to remember is that she doesn’t owe you anything.”

“What? Of course she doesn’t!” Silas frowned in confusion. “What does that even mean?”

“Men can be pigs. It’s refreshing to see that you aren’t one of them, like I was in my youth.” A wistful smile broke Laslow’s face for a few moments.

“Right.” He raised an eyebrow at Laslow in confusion, but only for a moment. A fresh wave of nerves washed over him, and he took in a shaky breath to calm himself.

“Go, before you wet yourself in fear,” Laslow teased. “You are going to be fine. Let me know how it all turns out.”

Silas nodded and forced himself to start walking. He took the stairs one at a time once he reached her treehouse, and drew in one last deep breath before knocking on her door.

She didn’t answer right away – he thought the thirty seconds or so where he had to wait for her were the longest he’d ever experienced. He relaxed, visibly relieved, when she threw the door open and smiled at him.

“Hi!” she greeted him.

“I come bearing gifts?” Silas offered, gesturing to the tray he’d carried up.

“My favourite kind,” she giggled, and moved aside so he could come in. She’d taken the flower clip out of her hair, and had changed into more relaxed clothing. Even just in lounging clothes, she looked radiant. While the Natalie that led them all wasn’t exactly _fake_ , he knew that this, here, was the _real_ Natalie.

He licked his lips and swallowed nervously as he followed her to her cozy little sitting area. There was a low round table in the middle of three round bags filled with small beads. If he had to choose one part of her room that he liked the most, this was definitely it.

Silas placed the tray on the table carefully, and Natalie grabbed the teapot as soon as it hit the surface. “I was going to-”

“It’s okay, I’m already settled,” she smiled at him, pouring his cup first. He accepted it with a quiet _thank you_ as he settled into his seat, his stomach turning. Already, he had messed this up. It didn’t bode well.

She grabbed the milk and sugar, placing a single lump and pouring a small splash before wordlessly offering them to him. He shook his head. “I’m okay, thanks.”

“Help yourself to a cookie, too,” she told him as she grabbed one and broke it in half.

“Maybe in a bit.”

She nodded and settled more comfortably into her cushion next to his, taking a small bite from her cookie and washing it down with a sip of tea. “Mmm, this is excellent!” she murmured once her mouth was empty again. “I didn’t know you could make tea like this! I always mess it up, Jakob has to fix it. I’ve all but given up.”

“Actually, Laslow made it for me. I have no clue how tea is made,” Silas admitted with an embarrassed laugh. “One of these days, I should learn. It can’t possibly be that difficult.”

“Oh, you’d be amazed. I thought the same thing,” she laughed. “Are you feeling better?”

“Somewhat. I think this was exactly what I needed, though. Thank you for inviting me up.”

“Well, I couldn’t just leave you suffering,” she answered him. There was silence for a moment as they both took a sip. Even Silas could tell that this was good tea – he definitely owed Laslow for this one. “You know I’m always here for you, right? No matter what. You can tell me anything you need.”

Silas took another sip of his tea; his mouth had suddenly gone very dry. “I – I know. I’m sorry I worried you.”

“Don’t be.That’s what your friends are there for.” There was silence for a few seconds again as she broke another bite off of her cookie. Silas reached for one absently as she continued. “Laslow seemed very concerned earlier.”

Her tone implied a deeper meaning, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “Yeah, he wouldn’t leave me alone.”

She looked a little uncomfortable – she had a habit of using her thumbnail to _click_ the nails on her pinky or ring fingers when she was nervous or upset and trying to hide it. “I hadn’t realized you and Laslow were so… _close.”_

The weight of her suggestion crashed into him like a downed Pegasus. “So – oh, no, not like – not like _that_. I mean, we’re friends, but we, uh…” Silas laughed nervously and cleared his throat. “Neither of us are much interested in other men?”

“Are you sure? You don’t sound like it,” she teased, but he could tell a weight had instantly been lifted from her shoulders. “You looked quite smitten when he was fixing your hair for you earlier.”

“Embarrassed, more like. I can fix my own hair,” he grumbled, but Natalie laughed again at the expression on his face, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

She heaved a sigh and fixed him with a concerned look. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? Seeing you so out of sorts has me worried.”

“Actually…” It was his turn to sigh, a deep steadying breath to help steel his nerves again. He picked up his teacup and held it close to his chest in both hands so they would have something to do. “Well… you see… I was thinking about – about how much you’ve changed since we were little.”

“Oh?” she asked curiously, leaning back in her seat. She mimicked his hold on her teacup, and he wondered if it was a conscious action or not. “Was I truly so different then?”

“Not so much in personality, but you’re… a lot prettier.”

The moment the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Her face scrunched up, and he couldn’t really tell what she was feeling, but he guessed that it couldn’t be good.

“And… you’re only noticing this now?”

His eyes squeezed shut for a moment. He thought about backing out, but he couldn’t leave her hurting like this. He forced his eyes open and looked at her when he answered. “No – it was the first thing that struck me upon our reunion, actually. You just seemed to radiate beauty and power in equal measures.”

“Really?” She sat forward a little, and her pained expression relaxed some. “Strange, you’ve never mentioned it before.”

“And how could I?” He surged forward in his seat, almost spilling his tea in his lap. He put it down less carefully than he should have. “How was I supposed to tell you it was love at first sight, when I hadn’t even figured it out myself yet?”

Her eyebrows shot up and her lips parted a fraction in shock. She instantly sat up a little taller, and carefully placed her own teacup down on the table near his before speaking. “Did – did you just say… _love_?”

“I-” He cleared his throat again. “Natalie, when we were young, you were my best friend and constant playmate. But – but now we’re adults, and… you’ve grown into quite the lady. The shock of seeing you this way, after so many years apart, was like an arrow through the heart. It just took me a while to realize it. Longer than it should have. I was just so overjoyed to see you, I got it all confused.”

He took a moment to pause, to breathe, to see if she would say anything. Her eyebrows had come together a little in the middle, making a little dimple, but the horror he had expected to find was absent.

“There’s no mistaking it anymore, though. I – I love you, Natalie.”

“Silas…” His name was but a whisper, and he was so caught up on the nerves of finally getting his feelings off his chest that he didn’t really hear her.

He laughed a little awkwardly. “So typical of me to fall in love at first sight and take weeks to realize it.”

“Don’t say that.”

Her comment confused him, stopping him dead. He was surprised to find her staring at her hands in her lap, her face flushed with colour. He reached out absently and hooked a finger under her chin, guiding her gaze back to his again.

“You’re blushing,” he commented. “Why are you blushing?”

She let out a noisy sigh. “Why do you think?”

Silas’ stomach dropped. Her brows were pulled close again, and she looked upset. He should have kept his mouth firmly shut. “Oh… Look, I know you’re way out of my league. You’re a princess, and I’m… _not_ a prince. I just hope we can still be friends. If I can’t be with you, then I at least want to keep fighting by your side.”

Her expression softened again. He was getting dizzy from the turns her emotions seemed to be taking tonight. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” she told him quietly.

“Hmm? Why no – Natalie?”

Her palms were on his cheeks, her nose inches from his own, and Silas forgot how to breathe.

“Hush,” she told him, and then she leaned in and kissed him.

Every nerve was alight the moment their lips met; he had never experienced anything quite like it. Her lips were warm, and soft, gentle with the way they pressed against his, and when she withdrew a few seconds later, he almost begged for her to return.

Almost.

Her voice was breathless. “Ever since our paths crossed again… I might not have remembered who you were, but I still felt… _drawn_ to you. For a while, I simply thought it was our old friendship surfacing again - but the more time I spent with you, the more I realized that wasn’t it at all.” She chuckled quietly. “I suppose you could say it was love at first sight for me, too.”

“Well… how about that?” Silas couldn’t help himself; the laugh that escaped him was positively giddy. Gods, but he had never been happier in his entire life! “Does – does this mean that we can… be a couple?”

“Absolutely,” she answered him immediately. “There’s no one else I’d rather be with. It’s you and me… forever, if you’ll have me that long.”

Silas absently licked his bottom lip as he studied her face. “I’ll never let anyone take you from me ever again. Or me from you. Or tear us apart. Whatever – words aren’t working so well right now.”

She laughed loudly, and then she kissed him again, this time with fervor.

“I have always cherished you as my best friend,” he told her as they came apart. A hand found her waist, while the other reached up to carefully stroke her cheekbone with his thumb. “And now… now, you’re so much more. I love you. I promise to never leave you again.”

“And I love you.” She sighed and turned to look at the tea and cookies on the table. “Our tea is going to get cold.”

He gently guided her gaze back towards him. “Let it.”

Silas could feel her smile when he drew her close and kissed her once more. 


End file.
